Where do you keep your Bibles?

I keep my Bibles in descending size order on the shelf directly behind me.

 

There's the New Revised Standard Version from graduating sixth form. Then the Good News Bible we learned from in Junior School. Then there's three King James versions in a row, the largest being an exquisite leatherbound affair perfumed with the aroma of aged paper. The first page of this one bears a calligraphy'd note telling me that somone won it (as 1st prize) for some reason at a Sunday school, Christmas 1889. The 2nd KJV, the fancy white one, was given to me almost 100 years later at my christening, November 1987. The 3rd KJV has a big wooden outer cover featuring two compartments claiming to hold 'Holy Earth' (front) and 'Jordan Water' (back) from Nazareth and Nazaret respectively. I'm not even sure if those are meaningful terms to any Christian, cos it sure sounds like relic-esque bullshit. Nor do i know why they've varied the spelling of Nazareth. What i do know is that Faye is a sucker for selling it to me for £2.50. The smallest one is just The Soldier's Testament and the Book of Psalms, given to my mum in 1964.

 

The Bibles above have been kept either side of a book on Satanism in a big black sack full of books. There was also at least one other Bible in there, plus some books on Norse myths and Jewish folklore etc.

 

This is the scene that inspired this post in the first place. I replaced the hinges on my grandad's bedroom door a couple of weeks ago cos they were broken. That's when i found out where he keeps his Bibles: on his bedside table, next to and underneath his SPEED GARAGE ANTHEMS IN IBIZA double cassette compilation. As if that weren't enough, here's the entire Amazon UK Product Description for the more recent work of fiction at the top of the photo: "The streets of Philadelphia are blistering in the summer heat, the homicide rate is soaring and the nights belong to the mad. Detectives Kevin Byrne and Jessica Balzano are prowling the streets with a growing sense of unease. Where next will evil rear its ugly head? When a series of seemingly unrelated crimes shatter the restless silence of the city, their worst fears are confirmed. A beautiful secretary is slashed to death in a grimy motel shower. A street hustler brutally murdered with a chainsaw. Piece by piece, a strange and sickening puzzle presents itself: someone is meticulously recreating Hollywood's most well-known and horrifying murder scenes, capturing them on film and inserting the clips into videos - for an unsuspecting public to find. While Kevin Byrne begins furtive investigations of his own, Jessica Balzano goes undercover to work the steaming back alleys of Philadelphia, entering a violent world of underground film, pornography and seedy nightclubs, hidden to all but the initiated. Discovering that none of The Actor's victims are as innocent as they appear to be, the two detectives arrive at a terrifying reality: they are not just chasing a homicide suspect. They are stalking evil itself... ". I was gonna just quote a small section of that at first, but it's all so good.

Slayer keep their Bible in a pool of blood, so none of its lies can affect them. [c.1m34s]

Of course if you're that paranoid about religious indoctrination it begs the question of why you'd own a Bible in the first place.

Some dude from Gospel Gangsterz keeps his Bible in his khaki. He's trigger-happy despite this holy guidance.